My sherpa today is none other than Hercules, legendary hero of the Trojan War and one of the famous, traveling Argonauts. Hercules is an offspring of Zeus, one of many; his mother is the mortal Alemena. Being a demigod, Hercules is bestowed with super-strength. Legend has it that he strangled a lion to death with his bare hands, singularly slew a dragon, killed a hideous monster, and fought off a whole army of Amazon women warriors.
You may be wondering why our handsome hero is dressed as a woman. He allegedly killed a friend in a fit of anger, and for punishment he became the slave of Queen Omphale for three years. During this period he was said to dress as a woman and sit and weave with the other women, while the queen sat on her throne wearing his lion skin. Which just goes to show you that this powerful he-man is so comfortable in his masculinity that he is not afraid to show his girly-man side.

Zeus: Who beith you, brave woman, who invade mine fair abode?
Lola: O magnificent Zeus, great doer of godly things, gatherer of the clouds that thunder on high. Mine head bows before you in humble attitude. I, Lola, mild and meek, of frosted hair and freckled face, from far-off sunny and unseasonably warm California, land of many fruits and nuts. Alas, mine cup runnith over with joy...

I had more speech prepared but I was cut off short with the arrival of Mercury and the daily offerings of ambrosia and nectar. Also on the menu was roast beef, leg of lamb, succulent fowl and lots of red wine.

After lunch our interview continued:
Lola: So, Your Highest, is this pretty much how you dine everyday, laying around naked feasting on ambrosia and nectar?
Zeus: Well, we are gods.
L: But are you really? I mean, you look a lot like humans, you eat a lot like humans, and you mate a lot like humans.
Z: I said we are gods, not monks.
L: So what is the difference between you gods and humans?
Z: Well, we're bigger, more beautiful, have more powerful weapons, and we live for over 900 years.
L: Wow, 900 years! What's in this nectar?
So why are you living on earth? Why not live in heaven?
Z: Off the record?
L: Oh, of course.
Z: Well, we're actually aliens from outer space.
L: I knew it.
Z: We found this planet many thousands of years ago and decided it would make a lovely space station. The idea was to get the local natives to be our slaves: to tend our flocks, work our fields, and build our megalithic landing sites. We experimented a lot with genetic engineering to create a better work force, creating some hideous monsters in the process. But alas, they all failed. We thought we had a winner with the Neanderthal, but they turned out to be too stupid. We ended up eating them.
L: What?
Z: It was during the ice age and game was scarce. They didn't taste very good either. Finally, we decided to make man out of our own image, with a few minor adjustments.
L: You mean like Adam and Eve in the Garden of Eden?
Z: Yes, all true. We didn't take a rib from Adam though, just some of his DNA. With a little manipulation we made Eve. Unfortunately, that was a failure as well.
L: Excuse me?
Z: Humans were too smart to be slaves. Man discovered the forbidden fruit, magic mushrooms, and gained the secret knowledge of the gods.
L: The secret knowledge?
Z: That everyone is god.
L: We are? Wow, that's a lot of responsibility.
Z: After the war with the Titans, most of our people left the planet for greener pastures, taking a large supply of breeding stock for a work force with them. Some of us decided to stay behind because we were fond of the fruits of the earth, and the fair daughters of man. You called us the Fallen Angels. From time to time we infused new genetic material into the populace.
L: I noticed that. Did you have a hand in the destruction of Sodom and Gomorrah?
Z: Oh yes, we used weapons of mass destruction.
L: And the walls of Jericho?
Z: Yes, WMD, using sound waves.
L: And the parting of the Red Sea?
Z: Yes, and wasn't that magnificent!
L: You were the pillar of smoke and fire?
Z: That would be us.
L: Were you responsible for the Biblical Flood?
Z: Oh no, that was an act of God. Our lands outside the Pillars of Hercules were rocked with massive volcanos, earthquakes and tidal waves, which caused our power plants to erupt and our whole island to sink in a day and a night. Those of us who survived, jumped in boats and air crafts and escaped. That's how we ended up on mountain tops all over the world.
L: One more question before I leave you today. What is the meaning of life, why are we here on this planet?
Z: To eat, drink and be merry!
L: That's it?
Z: Yes, enjoy it, all of it, the tears, the laughter. It's a gift from the gods.
L: Thank you, O Glorious One. Words of wisdom from the mouth of Zeus, almighty.